I would like to tell you a cautionary tale of lost love, Saint Patrick’s Day, and my ridiculous obsession with dressing like an idiot on that particular holiday. I have always loved dressing up in full costumes for almost any event I attend. On St. Pat’s, that happens to be some awesome Irish tee shirts and full party regalia.
The specific thing that I lost because of my silly Irish tees is a woman. This is not just any woman, but the girl that I had been crushing on ever-so-hard in my office building for something like 3 years. I would usually only see her in the morning as we rode the elevator up to our respective jobs. Long red hair, freckles, and a smile to die for.
All it takes for a bit of dating success is initiative sometimes, my friends. Sometimes you’re practically half-asleep riding the elevator up and instead of saying your normal “hello” to this girl you like so much, you say something impulsive like, “It would be really great if we could go out on a date!” Yeah, it was lame because it rhymed like a Dr. Suess poem. Despite my lameness, she actually agreed!
Since I’m terrible at forward-thinking at 8 in the morning, I forgot completely about St. Patrick’s Day being on the same day we planned to meet for dinner and drinks. I was miserable, because there was no way I was going to miss out on my date with this girl! Of course, there’s also no way I’m backing out on my yearly bar-hopping with friends in our Irish drinking shirts. I had to figure out how to do both.
Let me inject right here that I know that I’m an idiot. They say that hindsight is 20/20, but mine is more like x-ray vision. I can see through every bad decision I made that night and relive my regret weekly. I thought that I could go on my date, enjoy a meal together, and then go right to the bar to meet with my friends. That may have worked except for the fact that I had to dress in my Irish pride t shirts for the bar before the date if I was going to make it on time to have fun.
I got to the date early and sat there in my booth drinking beer when she arrived. I can imagine what she was thinking when she came in and there is her date sitting there wearing the craziest Irish t-shirts and outfit that you can possibly imagine. I had a green sports jacket, a green wig, and a big rhinestone clover on my back. Much to her credit, she actually sat down and ate a meal with me despite, what looked like, overwhelming embarrassment.
I am a traditionalist at heart, so you have to understand that giving up on Saint Patrick’s Day would have been super difficult for me. Would I have done it differently had I known she would never date me again? I can’t say that I would have. Honestly, if she had been the perfect woman for me she would have showed up wearing her own wig and goofy Irish clothes. I guess I’ll just have to keep looking for someone as silly as me.